I feel like I’ve wasted my 20s. What is holding me back?
The question I’m a 29-year-old woman who has never been in a romantic relationship and right now can’t decide on a career path. I have a handful of close friends, graduated from a good university six years ago, but I end up in temporary, seasonal hospitality jobs that I work in for about six months before resigning. And as soon as I get close to someone romantically, I push them away. I feel a deep suspicion and mistrust of people getting close to me. For a long time, I felt my friendships were shallow and forced until I spent more time with my friends post-Covid.
From the ages of 13 to 17, I went through bouts of depression and anxiety, but didn’t feel able to speak to anyone about it. I was so ashamed and worried that people around me would be disappointed and angry with me, because of my low mood. At 17, I completely broke down with the weight of that.
The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read *(and maybe a few you don’t) by Philippa Perry (Cornerstone, £18.99). To support The Guardian and Observer, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
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